Disappointment: The end or a New Beginning?

For some reason, disappointments seem to be one of the hardest things to face in life. Whether it's the simple realization that a person gets when he or she realizes that they are not going to be able to go to the park, or maybe it's the cold understanding that grips you when you realize that the person of your dreams, who you thought was going to be your partner for life turns you down. Some things in life are just difficult to swallow. 

 

So what is it about disappointment that makes it sting so bad? Is it the crushed dreams, or expectations, or is it something deeper. As a 29 year old male, I have had a lot of time to experience life and one of the conclusions that I have come to is that it is full of disappointments. Those moments where we realize that we just didn't fit the grade, or didn't have what it took to succeed. Our dreams seem to be dashed, and before us lies a cold reality of life after failure. 

 

To better understand what a failure is all about let's look a real life incident. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. There was a girl that I really liked, and she had promised me that we would meet after supper, and go out for an evening as friends. I can remember the joy I felt as I went through that day. Things weren't going the greatest, at that time, but at least I would have someone to spend time with. 

 

It was six O'clock, and I had just finished supper. Rushing out the door of the cafeteria with my backpack still on my back I waited at the flag pole. This was the event that was going to pull me out of my doldrums and disappointment that I had been experiencing all that day, indeed I had hung all of my hopes for the day on that one moment. I waited, and continued to wait. Light rain started to fall, and still I waited. I waited even longer, it was a half hour now, but still I waited not wanting to allow the realization of yet another disappointment to grab me. Finally after an hour, the rain picked up in intensity, and I just stood there, realizing that I had been disappointed yet again. Quickly I made my way back to the guys dorm that night and found some friends to talk to. Life had changed.

Disappointments are something that hurt. However, to simply say that they hurt is not good enough. We need to dig deeper. We need to peel back the layers, and determine what really caused the pain. The real pain in disappointment is the fear that something could be wrong with us. Deep down inside we long to be complete and whole, and to be people that others like to be around. When someone turns us down suddenly some questions can immediately bubble to the surface of our lives.

Depending on how we handle these questions we will either discover a better future, or become more depressed, and wallow in our self-pity, and begin to poison those around us. So what are these questions and why do they matter? 

 

The first question is: What did I do to deserve this? Many of us have probably asked ourselves this question at one point or another and have looked for a flaw or mistake that we have made in order to determine why something happened to us, and indeed, sometimes we do discover an area to improve upon, but other times, the answer is: nothing. When reading the Bible we come across an amazing story on this very issue. At the beginning of John Chapter 9:1, Jesus has just left the temple and notices a man who was blind from his birth. Evidently the disciples notice that Jesus is looking at him, because they ask Him a question found in verse 2: “Master who did sin, this man, or his parents that he was born blind?”. 

 

At a cursory reading of the passage, the point seems clear: Who sinned?. The greek word for sin here is: hamartano and has three definitions in the Strong's Concordance:

1. To miss the mark (and so not share in the prize)
2. (figuratively) to err
3. (especially morally) to sin

For some reason when the Disciples saw this man who was blind the first question that came to their mind was: Where did he come up short? What error did he or his parents make that put him in this predicament. The disciple's minds have been revealed at the beginning of this chapter, but what about Jesus mind on the matter? In order to discover that we will have to read on, but it is an interesting thought that the first thing that is said by the disciples when they see someone suffering is: who sinned? So right now, we can move on in our reading of the story, but if we do, there is a chance that we will miss something very profound here. Something so profound it blows the lid off of question number one on disappointment. What is it that is so profound? Glad you asked. In verse 3, Jesus gives a response to his disciples about the man on the wayside's condition. He answers them: “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents:....” Hold on a second, hit the pause button right there! No one sinned? Surely there must have been a sin in their life, that could have created such a horrible condition in this man. Bad things don't happen to people who don't sin do they? 

 

The response of Jesus starts to go head to head with our reasoning to the first question that we asked in the beginning: What did I do to deserve this? There is a chance that the answer is a startling: “nothing” to this question. Should this be the case, we would be miss of we forgot to mention the next words of Jesus in this story. In fact, if we were to leave them out it would be a crime, because just because there was nothing that anyone did to deserve what happened to them, does not mean that it was for nothing. 

 

There was a purpose in what happened and it can be found in the rest of what Jesus said: “but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” So this answer, means that the works of God should be manifest in him.” What does that mean. Well, the Greek word for manifest is: phaneroo, and is a verb that means: to render apparent. So our answer to this question is so that the works of God can be rendered apparent in the man. 

 

That means that nothing was wrong, but God wanted to reveal His works in the man. Let's look at that last phrase again: “but that the works of God should be made manifest in him”. Did you notice the last two words of Jesus statement about the man? “In him”. Now normally it would make sense to say that they were made to glorify God, but the word in Greek for in is actually: en and has three different definitions:

1. in
2. at
3. upon
4. by

So God would be glorified by the man, but how would this happen. To discover this, check out the rest of John Chapter 9. The main point of this passage is though that God's works would be manifest in him. Does this shed some light on the first question? The next time that you or I find ourselves asking ourselves a question about a disappointment, and find ourselves saying “where did I go wrong” and we search and cannot find an area, then it is best to rely upon Jesus Words: “Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” What are the implications here? 

 

No longer do we have to be constant victims of “What did I do to deserve this”ism We are now able by God's grace to look at this, and see that God has a purpose in our disappointment. The next question that may come is: What if I don't know what that purpose is? This brings us to our next point and why we stopped at verse 3 instead of going on. At this point that information is hidden. We could read on to get to the partial result of this in the rest of the chapter, but then we might miss the beauty of faith! 

 

Here in a situation where we don't know what is to happen next, it's best to put ourselves in God's hands. Did He work for the best in the blind man's behalf? Should the answer be yes we are now able to ask the same question about Him working in our own lives. 

 

Often times we believe that the disappointment is going to affect the rest of our lives in a negative way. We have a negative misbelief that gnaws at our mind and causes us much pain. Who hasn't spent years and years going over the “what could have beens”. 

 

The road has come to a fork, and God has taken us in a different direction than we thought we would have wanted to go. The direction to the left looked so much better. There were trees, and squirrels and birds, and a gentle flowing creek, with a nice walking path, but this one is much more bumpy and rugged. “Was that a mistake? Why would the Guide take us this direction?” We sometimes begin to wonder? The other way looked so much better. This bring us to our question of: Who's really writing our story? My Bible tells me in Proverbs 3: 5,6, that if I trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not unto mine own understanding,but in all my ways acknowledge Him, He will direct my paths! This is great news! This means that Jesus is still directing our path even when we don't understand why a disappointment happened to us. 

 

So with the first question being obliterated by the Word of God, let's turn our minds to the second one. What happens when a disappointment has happened and it is our fault. I can remember being younger and wanting to go with my parents to Tennessee, but not being able to go because I got put in isolation. Not only was I disappointed, but it was my own fault. This was almost more than I could swallow, but God had a purpose in it for me. Just like the first question, I came to the proverbial fork in the road, I saw the flowers and beautiful things that I had missed, and realized that it was my own fault I had missed them, but there was grace for me! 

 

Little did I realize that the second path would not be all that bad either. Instead of going to Tennessee I got to go to the Indy 500 with my grandpa. God was able to work something good out of something bad. So, when things don't turn out the way that you or I want to, because of our choices or because of God saw a better way, we can rejoice in that! 

 

Did this happen in the Bible? Instead of listing out a story, I want you to take a look at the hall of faith, and see if you can find some people who made mistakes, but that God turned them around for His good! There is one obvious one. Sampson. Check out this story to see how God turned a mistake, into a victory through Sampson's choice to turn back to God.

With both of these questions now answered we can now come to the obvious conclusion that a “mess up” or re-direction by God is not the end of the world but only the beginning of a side of life you or I have never seen!  Afterall, what makes it the best, is it not the presence of our Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy  Spirit?

In closing I want you to think about this verse with me:

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21).

He Goes Before Us!

Yesterday morning for my devotions I was reading about John 10, and Jesus being the Good Shepherd.  In John 10:4-5 there were two verses that stuck out to me right away!

John 10:4-5 (KJV)
And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.

There were a couple of questions that I had about this verse right off the bat!  For a long time I had been struggling with God's guidance, and still find myself needing to learn more to this day.  However, yesterday, I had a major breakthrough thanks to the Holy Spirit and Jesus in understanding this text a little better.  Here were the questions that I had about the verse:

• What does it mean when the verse says "he (Jesus) goeth before them?
• How does He go before them?
• How do they know His voice?
• What is this part about a stranger all about?

As I continued to read the chapter these questions weighed heavily on my mind, and had weighed on my mind for quite some time before that.  There was a meaning for my own personal life, and I wanted to better understand!
  "he (Jesus) goes before me"
  The first question was a big one.  Jesus goes before us?  Over time, I am learning that somehow Jesus goes ahead of us and smooths the way to open doors for us in no matter what He calls us to!

An example of this was when I was colportering with a friend. It was my first time to go out and knock on doors, and I was a bit scared to do it!  In fact, I had noticed that I was having a hard time getting any books out or having any encounters with people.  My friend, decided to come along with me, and he reminded me of something I had forgotten a long time before this incident, that it was important to pray before I went to the door, and that Jesus would make the way.

So, he and I quickly said a prayer asking Jesus to prepare the heart of the person we were going to visit, and as a result, the person was friendly and more open to what we had to say!

This incident really helped me better understand what Jesus was talking about when He said that He goes before us, and in a little more how He goes before us as well.  Prayer had been the way to ask Him to go before me.
 "How does He go before me?"
When I prayed and asked God, things happened!  They might not have been things that were easy to see at first either, yet they were there.  Sometimes Jesus would do things that I could not see until later in my life, and He is still doing things that I cannot see, and may not see until He comes again and we are all in heaven!  However, when I took the time to talk to Him, He always answered, and continues to answer me.

In order to better illustrate the point of how He has gone before me, I will tell a quick story of a time I was passing out Steps to Christ at the door.  This was almost a year after colpourtering.  I had been going to college at Southern Adventist University, and was starting to want to give Jesus control of my Sabbaths more. After church there was a group of young people going to pass out Steps to Christ.  I quickly volunteered to go, because I felt that this was Jesus call in my life.  So about half-way through the process of passing out Steps to Christ, I discovered that I was having a hard time getting books out.  Why was this?  Then I remembered what my friend had told me about prayer!  So on the way to the next house (and there was a long stretch between houses) I began to pray that Jesus would use me including my failures to His glory.  Up until this point the sky had been full of clouds, but I asked Jesus if He would have the sun shine through the clouds.  As I looked into the sky, I noticed a small crack in the clouds begin to form, and a shaft of light begin to burst through the clouds, and with it some warmth against the cool day.  When I arrived at the next house, I was ready, I had asked Jesus to go before me, and in-spite of my faults and failures to use me in His service!

As I knocked at the door, I could hear a vacuum going in the background and a lady opened the door, but did not turn off the vacuum.  She said that she was busy.  So, knowing that I had asked Jesus to use me in-spite of my faults and failures, I opened the Steps to Christ book in my hand and began to read the first thing I saw, and this is what it said:
"There is no time or place in which it is inappropriate to offer up a petition to God.  There is nothing that can prevent us from lifting up our hearts int he spirit of earnest prayer". (White, 99, para 1). 

As a result, the lady responded:  "I'd probably better read that" and she took the book"!  Jesus had done it in spite of my failures, mistakes, and inability to properly communicate!  There is nothing too hard for the Lord!

This story better brings out the point that Jesus goes before us in ways that only He can!  When we pray, Jesus makes a way!

How do I know His voice?
As I write this, a better part of this has become more understood to me.  Up until about yesterday, I was really struggling to understand what the Bible means when it says that they know His voice.  My wife and I had to make a decision on something and did not know which way to turn.  We prayed about it, and knew that Jesus would go before us, but we did not know how He would communicate with us.  Then it happened!  Jesus did communicate with us.

As my wife was going through the pros and cons of making a decision, something amazing happened!  One of the cons was actually that if we did this thing we would be breaking one of God's commandments!  I couldn't believe what I had just heard!  Jesus had done it!  His Word says:  "To the Law and to the Testimony, if they speak not according to this word it is because there is no light in them"

Now the opportunity was not in itself bad, but rather as we thought on taking advantage of that opportunity it would be bad because in order for us to do so we would be breaking a commandment!

My wife and I had not asked anyone but God for advice at this point!  I was thinking it was going to take someone else to answer us, but God had answered us Himself!  Jesus does answer when we call out to Him for help and advice!
What is the part of the stranger all about?
Any advice that is given that is against God's Word is from the stranger!  This does not mean that the person who gave the advice is from the stranger, but that that the stranger has used them.  I know that I have been used by the stranger numerous times!  I have caused so much pain, to other people, because they listened to me, and my words, and my words were not the words of the Good Shepherd! :(  How sad! :(  However, there is mercy and grace for even a sinner like me at Calvary! Jesus paid that price as the Good Shepherd!  He went to Calvary!  In fact in John  10:11 Jesus says:


John 10:11 (KJV)
I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

Jesus not only goes before us, smooths the way, but He went before us to Calvary and paid the ultimate price so that we might not perish but have everlasting life through Him!

Friend, have you messed up in your life?  Have you given bad advice?  Have you hurt those closest to you?  Have you done it on accident?  Have you had times where you have listened to the stranger?  Calvary is still available for you!  The Good Shepherd wants you in heaven with Him!  Will you accept Him and His offer of love?  We don't have to listen to the stranger's lies in our lives, we can go to Jesus just as we are, and He will cleanse us and make us new!  Jesus says

John 6:37-39 (KJV)
All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me. And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day.

Ask, Seek, Knock

This morning I came to my devotions and there seemed to be high wall between God and I. I couldn't seem to find out why this was the case.  Before I had my devotions this morning, I had a quick prayer, asking for God to show me Jesus, and His love, and to keep me from distractions, and then proceeded to open the Bible and read.  The story this morning was from John Chapter 9.  Now, I had read this story so many times, and so I thought that I had exhausted everything from it.  Still, there was a thought that showed up to me as I read, and that was the fact that the man was blind.  I knew I was blind and needed Jesus, but didn't know what God wanted me to do as a result of the story I was reading.  Discouragement set in, and I then went to Calvary.  I read the story of the crucifixion in Matthew 27, and the Resurrection in Matthew 28.  At the end of my reading a verse jumped out at me, and it was the response of the angel to the women who had come to the tomb to see Jesus in verse 5
" 5 But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here, for he has been raised, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was lying."

As I read this verse a realization hit me!  I was not reading the Bible to find Jesus simply in the Bible, but I was reading the Bible to find Jesus in my own life, in the reality I was living in that very moment!  As the song says, I began to realize that: "I serve a Risen Savior, He's in the world today!  I know that He IS living whatever men may say!"

At that next moment, another verse came to my mind:

Matthew 7: 7,8

 7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

As I read this statement, my question was answered.  When I come to the Word of God to get a blessing, and then don't follow through with the conditions that Jesus laid out, it's little wonder that I don't find that God is speaking to me.
So often I find myself only wanting God to do the talking as I read, and me to just listen.  I want to sit at His feet like someone would sit at the feet of a wise sage!  But the truth is, that Jesus is not calling us to Himself to simply impart wisdom to us, He is calling us to be in relationship with Him!  He doesn't want to simply give us a set of instructions.  He wants to give us Himself, and in return, he wants us!

I like how Ellen G. White Puts it in Steps to Christ:

"By faith you became Christ's, and by faith you are to grow up in Him--by giving and taking. You are to give all,--your heart, your will, your service,--give yourself to Him to obey all His requirements; and you must take all,--Christ, the fullness of all blessing, to abide in your heart, to be your strength, your righteousness, your everlasting helper,--to give you power to obey"

There are three steps to Mathew 7:7 that jumped out at me!

1. Ask
2. Seek
3. Knock

In step one it is important to be honest with God about what is going on in our lives, so that we are prepared for step 2, which is seeking Him in His Word, in seeking Him in His Word, we may and probably will end up asking more, and seeking more.  Finally at the end of devotions, we are able to knock, by following through with Jesus instructions.

When however I try and "do", or want to "know" the "Will of God" without asking or seeking or knocking, I'm going to find myself discouraged every single time!


So let us, ask Seek and Knock!