Didn't Get What I Wanted But What I Needed

9Tonight did not turn out the way I wanted it to. Before I get into that it's important for me to give some background to this situation.
Tonight I wanted to go over to my brother's house. At that Point I had a thought in my head that I didn't like, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I needed to ask God what He wanted for me. How did I come to this conclusion? While I was preparing to go to my brother's tonight, I noticed a torn page laying on the  bed in the guest room. Examining it a little bit closer I discovered that it was a page ripped out of the Bible. My wife told me that one of the kids had ripped it out of a kids Bible. Picking up the tattered page I began to read. The Bible Story was very clear to understand. The children of Israel would wait for the pillar of fire to lift from camp before they moved on. At this point I was pricked to the heart. I knew what had to be done, but didn't really want to do it. The unrenewed human heart is that way:(

Getting on my knees I prayed for God's will to be done. A few minutes my wife was on the phone with my brother's wife and their kids had gone to bed. I was disappointed but relieved at the same time. I was relieved because Jesus had done for me what I never could have done in my own strength! Though I was disappointed I realized that God knew best! He is so amazing!

Psalms 37:4 KJV

Delight thyself also in the Lord ; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

It's been too Long!

This evening I've been taking inventory of my life.  Looking back lately, I realize that God has done so much for me today, it's incredible.  Today was the Sabbath day and God showed up in some incredible ways.  The night previous I was in prayer with God, wondering, why things weren't seemingly working out in the way that I wanted them to.  He has so many ways of speaking.  So as I was waiting for a reply I turned on a radio program called "Amazing Facts" and the program was about finding out God's Will for your life.  I'm now 31 years old.  My life is moving on its, way, but Jesus has not changed!  He is still my forever friend!  He loves me so much.  So do you know what He did for me last night!  He spoke to me.  I was trying to determine what God wanted me to do with my life at 31.  He pretty much told me that He wanted me to work on the work nearest, and that is my dear children!  He wants me to be a good dad to them, and to spend time with them.  He wants me to be faithful in the small things. The next day was the Academy Graduation.  As I looked at them walking down the Aisle, I was taken back to the time when I walked down that same aisle to the front.  During that time I was unsure of what my future would hold, and honestly, I still am, but I know who holds the future!  He is incredible!  So as I watched student after student walk down that blue carpeted aisle, I could see nothing but pure potential walking down the aisle.  As I looked at them, I saw what they had, realized what I had, and to be honest felt somewhat envious.  That is until the Children's Story at church came along.  The Children's story is a time where all the children go up front and are told a story, it's like their mini sermon.  This time the person giving the children's story was a graduating Academy student.  He told a story about a Marathon, and about running a race, and then he compared that to life.  Instantly, I felt like God was speaking directly to me, and indeed He was, not only was He speaking to me, but He was speaking to every single person in the church, because He always does speak through His Word.  As this graduate told of his marathon run, I was intrigued.  I knew where he was going with the story, but what I didn't realize, was where God was going with it, until I looked around me and saw my three children, and pregnant wife. Because at the moment he began to read 1 Corinthians 9:24, 25:


²⁴ Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.
²⁵ And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

I realized then and there that God was telling me that my most important work was to my wife and children.  Yes, it would be a struggle.  It would be no easy feat to raise 4 kids in the fear and admonition of the Lord, and the way would definitely be steep, but this is my calling.  To not accept it, is to deny the very children God has entrusted to me, and that is a horrible thought.  As I thought about the graduates, and the life that I wished I could have had, I realized that what mattered most had not happened yet.  Jesus has not returned.  The very thoughts that I was thinking about my past were perishable.  I was not a failure.  The true race, continues on in Jesus.  After all, the education that God wants to give us, does not end!  He wants to show us more and more of Himself.  On this earth the race may be long, but God is in charge.  As we ask for His Will to be done in our lives and surrender to His plans, then it is at this point that God's purposes can be realized.  This graduate, ended his talk with another incredible verse that really spoke to me, and convinced me that though my life was not turning out the way that my "flesh" would have wanted it to, that He had a bigger plan for me!    Here is the verse:

Hebrews 12

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
² Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.