Have you ever been let down before? Most recently I started reading a series of books. They were an allegory to the Christian life. Honestly, as I read them I felt closer to God than I had felt in a long time. After finishing the first book, I just couldn't wait to get my hands on the next one in the series.
You see, something that you should know about me is that I enjoy reading and when I come across an author that I really enjoy, I want to find as many books by that author as possible. So naturally when I looked up a recent author, I wanted to find out other books that they had written. I wanted to discover more into their life, and their Christian journey.
Yet after delving into this most recent author, I decided to do research on their life. I discovered that they were a missionary to Jerusalem. I was so excited to learn more, but when I learned about the end of their life, I was disappointed to discover that they had fallen into pantheistic and new age beliefs about God. I can not tell you how much this hurt me. It stung. I was so much into what this author was saying, and I could see so many parallels in my life to what they were saying and even to their own personal life.
How could this be? I had been drinking in this author's words, and they agreed so much with Scripture, but then to find out that the one writing the book, had gone off the deep end was almost too much to bear.
Now, friends, I am not making any judgments about that person's salvation, they may have or may not have come back to Christ, who am I to say. Yet, to realize that someone that I enjoyed so much went astray in their thinking, hurt very much. In a sense I almost felt like I had been betrayed by a Christian role model, and in a sense I was.
So where does this leave me now? This is a great question. I am coming to the conclusion that there is only One who I can truly follow, and that He will never let me down. He has written a book, called the Word of God. That author did not go off the deep end before He died. He stayed on the blood stained path until it was finished. As I type this, a verse that comes to mind is:
John 10:8, which says: "All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them."
So a lesson that I have learned is that God's Word is the ONLY true and safe guide through life. Man's opinions, and writings, though flowery and nice, are not safe to put my trust in. I need the Good Shepherd to lead me.
Maybe you have faced something similar to what I am talking about, if so, why not leave a comment, and share that experience. Share how God is helping you get back to His Word, and to putting your trust solely in Him.
Proverbs 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
Proverbs 3:4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Monday, February 13, 2017
To the Other Side
Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt like you were a huge failure in life. I know I am currently going through one of those moments as my fingers press these keys down to make this blog entry. Currently, I have a family of 5 that I am trying to provide for, and the needs of providing for them are starting to increase. Unfortunately, I only make so much money. Sometimes it seems like the money is just not going to be enough to provide for all of them. Indeed, when I look to this world, and myself to provide, this is an impossible task. Looking at myself I see a burning desire to be a success in life, no matter what!
I want to be that dad who provides in spades for his family, and has a great job to do so. I have tried starting an online business, but the progression of events in the process have been very wearing on my family. Not only that, but I learned first hand that I probably am not an expert web designer. There are hundreds of people that design web pages for people all the time, and probably would do a much better job than I. I have my IT associates degree, but no one wants to hire someone with only an associates in IT.
Then there is that desire to succeed in programming. I've heard that programmers can sometimes make a six figure income. That would really pay off my school debts, and help my family become a success, I think. Yet I am met quickly by the cold choke of reality around my neck that says, "You don't have the skills necessary, and your family can't afford the strain it is going to take for you to learn them or invest in a better job.
Right now I feel ship wrecked. I started going to school to be a pastor, but that did not work out. I had a hard time concentrating due to my medication for a malady that I have. Finally, I got married and got out of school, but in 2010, went to school online at South University Online to get an associates degree in information technology.
I can still hear the recruiter's words over the phone "Yeah, having to pay off that debt is difficult. What I think you need to do Brandon, is to go back to school, and get a degree, so you can get a better job than pizza hut and pay off your student loan debt." I hungrily ate up the words and made the decision to go back to school.
Unfortunately, what I learned there did not really benefit me in the long run. Instead, I found myself only deeper in debt. Indeed, I had heard the idea that "if you are in debt, digging a deeper hole is not the way to get yourself out. Yet I grabbed that shovel and just kept on digging. Now fast forward to today, and I can't find a job, except working for my dad.
All of these ideas sounded so good, but I have fallen short big time. So how do I turn this around? Can I? I don't think that it is possible for me to at this point.
The swirling and foaming reality of debts, and failed attempts at providing for my family, have all but sunk the ship that I am in.
I've heard the phrase before: "You are the captain of your own ship" Maybe you yourself have heard that one as well. I would like to announce today, that this is a bold faced lie. The idea of being in a ship is true, but the idea of being the captain is an illusion. I am the captain insomuch as I choose who I am going to let steer my ship, but that is it. The destination is either the bottom of the sea or the other side.
So what is this "other side" all about? Where am I going? What is my goal? What am I trying to get to? I want to be a success and that, to me, is getting my debts paid off and providing for my family, and being a success in the work world.
Now after this brief look back at my life, I have a partial perspective on where I am, but it isn't good enough. I need a much better one.
Where do I turn to for that? When I started this blog entry tonight, it was because I had tried to do a video blog, but it fell apart right towards the end. So I decided to write about it.
So, to get a better perspective of things, I'm going to look at the Word of God. There is a lesson to be learned here. Let's see what it is:
In the gospel of Mark chapter 4, there is a story about Jesus and His disciples. Jesus gave His disciples a command: "And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side."
There is the other side. A goal that is given. A simply command, and to be honest, if I were the disciples and had as much experience as they had crossing lake Galilee, I wouldn't have been a bit afraid. To me, it would be routine. Afterall, these are expert fisherman. They have crossed this lake many times.
This is how things started out for me getting out of high school. I was ambitous and full of life. I had one goal and one goal only. I wanted to become a pastor, and reach many people for Jesus. I thought that somehow I had good things to share with people.
Oh the twists and turns my life took when I got to college, it would take a thousand or more blog posts to explain everything. The "other side" was only 4 years away, and I didn't make it. Indeed I have realized that every step of the way on this sea is going to be a battle and a struggle.
Yes, Jesus is in the boat, and yes He is with me, but I keep forgetting He is there.
Notice what happens next in the story:
"And there were also with him other little ships."
Do I somehow think that I am alone in all of this? I'm sure that you yourself (the one reading this) have found yourself in a similar situation. Indeed, I think that we all are on the same lake, and going the same place. Are you there yet? What about your life?
I want to know, please feel free to put it down in the comments, also, is there a Bible story that appeals to you in all of this?
"And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full."
Honestly, I feel like my life is full right now of discouragements, and failures to the point where the boat is about to sink. Perhaps, I am at a point where I need to cry out to Jesus. Yet it's so much easier to try and "save myself". After all, if I can keep up the illusion that I am ok, then I won't have to be embarrised about my problems. I can keep trying, and then "no one can call me a failure." Yet what is all of this trying getting me? More wind, more storms, more callouses, more blisters, more pain, and only a bigger building sense of failure.
What do I do? Jesus is still in the boat. He has not left. Maybe I should awaken Him, especially in the situation that I'm in. I'm so fed up of being a failure, but what's the use of struggling to pretend that I'm somehow going to become a success.
***Now at this point I want you to know that this is really my rationale as I write. As I am putting the Bible texts into this blog, there is actually a battle going on***
So what does the next verse say happened? "And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?"
The question of the day for me. How can I humble myself enough to ask, but ask I will by God's grace. Even though my life is a wreck I will cry out to the One who fixes wrecks: Jesus Christ!
What is His response?
"And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm."
I want to be that dad who provides in spades for his family, and has a great job to do so. I have tried starting an online business, but the progression of events in the process have been very wearing on my family. Not only that, but I learned first hand that I probably am not an expert web designer. There are hundreds of people that design web pages for people all the time, and probably would do a much better job than I. I have my IT associates degree, but no one wants to hire someone with only an associates in IT.
Then there is that desire to succeed in programming. I've heard that programmers can sometimes make a six figure income. That would really pay off my school debts, and help my family become a success, I think. Yet I am met quickly by the cold choke of reality around my neck that says, "You don't have the skills necessary, and your family can't afford the strain it is going to take for you to learn them or invest in a better job.
Right now I feel ship wrecked. I started going to school to be a pastor, but that did not work out. I had a hard time concentrating due to my medication for a malady that I have. Finally, I got married and got out of school, but in 2010, went to school online at South University Online to get an associates degree in information technology.
I can still hear the recruiter's words over the phone "Yeah, having to pay off that debt is difficult. What I think you need to do Brandon, is to go back to school, and get a degree, so you can get a better job than pizza hut and pay off your student loan debt." I hungrily ate up the words and made the decision to go back to school.
Unfortunately, what I learned there did not really benefit me in the long run. Instead, I found myself only deeper in debt. Indeed, I had heard the idea that "if you are in debt, digging a deeper hole is not the way to get yourself out. Yet I grabbed that shovel and just kept on digging. Now fast forward to today, and I can't find a job, except working for my dad.
All of these ideas sounded so good, but I have fallen short big time. So how do I turn this around? Can I? I don't think that it is possible for me to at this point.
The swirling and foaming reality of debts, and failed attempts at providing for my family, have all but sunk the ship that I am in.
I've heard the phrase before: "You are the captain of your own ship" Maybe you yourself have heard that one as well. I would like to announce today, that this is a bold faced lie. The idea of being in a ship is true, but the idea of being the captain is an illusion. I am the captain insomuch as I choose who I am going to let steer my ship, but that is it. The destination is either the bottom of the sea or the other side.
So what is this "other side" all about? Where am I going? What is my goal? What am I trying to get to? I want to be a success and that, to me, is getting my debts paid off and providing for my family, and being a success in the work world.
Now after this brief look back at my life, I have a partial perspective on where I am, but it isn't good enough. I need a much better one.
Where do I turn to for that? When I started this blog entry tonight, it was because I had tried to do a video blog, but it fell apart right towards the end. So I decided to write about it.
So, to get a better perspective of things, I'm going to look at the Word of God. There is a lesson to be learned here. Let's see what it is:
In the gospel of Mark chapter 4, there is a story about Jesus and His disciples. Jesus gave His disciples a command: "And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side."
There is the other side. A goal that is given. A simply command, and to be honest, if I were the disciples and had as much experience as they had crossing lake Galilee, I wouldn't have been a bit afraid. To me, it would be routine. Afterall, these are expert fisherman. They have crossed this lake many times.
This is how things started out for me getting out of high school. I was ambitous and full of life. I had one goal and one goal only. I wanted to become a pastor, and reach many people for Jesus. I thought that somehow I had good things to share with people.
Oh the twists and turns my life took when I got to college, it would take a thousand or more blog posts to explain everything. The "other side" was only 4 years away, and I didn't make it. Indeed I have realized that every step of the way on this sea is going to be a battle and a struggle.
Yes, Jesus is in the boat, and yes He is with me, but I keep forgetting He is there.
Notice what happens next in the story:
"And there were also with him other little ships."
Do I somehow think that I am alone in all of this? I'm sure that you yourself (the one reading this) have found yourself in a similar situation. Indeed, I think that we all are on the same lake, and going the same place. Are you there yet? What about your life?
I want to know, please feel free to put it down in the comments, also, is there a Bible story that appeals to you in all of this?
"And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full."
Honestly, I feel like my life is full right now of discouragements, and failures to the point where the boat is about to sink. Perhaps, I am at a point where I need to cry out to Jesus. Yet it's so much easier to try and "save myself". After all, if I can keep up the illusion that I am ok, then I won't have to be embarrised about my problems. I can keep trying, and then "no one can call me a failure." Yet what is all of this trying getting me? More wind, more storms, more callouses, more blisters, more pain, and only a bigger building sense of failure.
What do I do? Jesus is still in the boat. He has not left. Maybe I should awaken Him, especially in the situation that I'm in. I'm so fed up of being a failure, but what's the use of struggling to pretend that I'm somehow going to become a success.
***Now at this point I want you to know that this is really my rationale as I write. As I am putting the Bible texts into this blog, there is actually a battle going on***
So what does the next verse say happened? "And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?"
The question of the day for me. How can I humble myself enough to ask, but ask I will by God's grace. Even though my life is a wreck I will cry out to the One who fixes wrecks: Jesus Christ!
What is His response?
"And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm."
so I must notice Jesus response here. Friends, as I have typed this very thing out, I have just experienced peace in my life about this very situation. I have experienced a calm in my life. I can testify to you tonight, that Jesus can still calm storms. How did He just calm my ravings? I don't know, but to say: He spoke. You see friends, His Word is still powerful, even today. He can say to all of our problems, including my desire to be a success in life: "Peace be still", and it will calm down.
Are you having a difficult time? Please take your trials to Jesus. We must give these things to Him, because He promises to take them, and then give us peace.
Finally let us notice what Jesus says to the disciples, and to me with my worries of absolute destruction, and what He says to you as well:
"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)